And it’s only Wednesday! With Jack’s being sick, we’ve been cooped up at home all week so far, and his night-sleeping has gotten even worse. Tonight I did get out of the house: I went to a 3-hour neighborhood association meeting. Well, it was nice to be out with rational adults for a bit anyway.
Jack’s fever has gone down, but the tongue blister is still there and makes him really not want to eat. I’ve actually been spoon feeding him… it’s like he’s a baby again! I don’t know why his sleeping has been so awful; is it the blister? Does he have other ones I can’t see? Is his throat sore? Who knows. Last night he just wouldn’t sleep in his crib, no matter what. He’d fall asleep fine on one of us, but put him down in the crib and he’d leap up and start crying hysterically. In the end, Chris slept on the floor with him in his room, but Jack still didn’t sleep much. Tylenol did not seem to help.
There have been times over the last few days where I’ve felt like a great parent, and times where I’ve felt like a terrible parent. On the great parent side, we’ve been spending hours and hours just playing or hanging out together, reading books, coloring, singing, stacking blocks, and just plain cuddling. I’ve rocked him and sung the same lullabies over and over.
On the terrible parent side, today I was speaking to him like he was a jerky adult, not a sick 19-month old. He didn’t nap long today, and I was exhausted, and trying to eat some leftover pizza for lunch (haven’t been to the grocery store, either) and he was wailing and wouldn’t eat and wouldn’t play and I said, “What? Now I can’t eat? What about me!!!!” It was kinda pathetic. I hear myself saying things and at the very same moment I’m thinking “Give me a break, YOU are the adult here! He is 19 months old and SICK!” but sometimes things just come out.
Earlier he wanted me to color and I said “Jack, I am just too tired to color,” and he had a little tantrum. He threw each crayon on the floor, then all the paper, then started shaking his head back and forth and pounding the table. It was kind of cute, actually. When you’ve been stuck in the house three days, this is what passes for entertainment.
Poor little guy. I wish he could tell me what was hurting. I am crossing my fingers he’ll sleep a little better tonight.
