A Parenting Low

This morning was a new low for me in the parenting department.  Lately, it’s been very difficult to change Jack’s diaper.  Sometimes he wriggles and squirms so much, it’s just impossible to get the diaper on him.  Usually, some singing, or playing with a toy, or asking him to point out the things on the wallpaper border next to the changing table, will serve to distract him, but sometimes it’s just an epic battle.

This morning was one of those times.  He was crying, and I was patient at first, but I was also in a hurry because we were meeting up with a friend.  I started getting really mad.  Finally I picked him up and put him on the floor, diaperless, and went out of the room, slamming the gate behind me.  When I went back in, he was happy as a clam, running around half-naked, but I scooped him up to put him on the changing table again and the battle resumed.

I was just so ANGRY.  I got the diaper on him (though not very well) and got him dressed and we left, and I was still steaming.  It wasn’t good… I mean, he’s old enough to understand that I want him to not squirm so much when I put on his diaper, but he’s not old enough to understand why it matters, or why I’m angry.  So now I just feel bad.

I think it was compounded by the fact I was in a hurry.  Next time I find myself getting this angry, I should just let him be in his room until I’ve totally calmed down, and just be late.

Generally, I don’t think I have much of a temper.  I don’t know why this was such a trigger.