There are a lot of British words related to baby-type things that are different than American words. Here’s a list of some of them. Feel free to post guesses in the comments (or email me). I’ll post the answers in a week.
I have a confession: I don’t like co-sleeping. Jack, on the other hand, is a big fan. When he sleeps in the bed with us, he sleeps great, for long periods.
Me, not so much. I feel cramped and uncomfortable, my shoulder and neck ache. Every little sound and movement wakes me up.
I don’t have anything against the idea of co-sleeping; I wish it did work for me, because we’d all be getting more sleep. When I bought the co-sleeper, I thought we’d be getting the best of both worlds: Jack would be close to us, but I’d still be able to sleep.
Lately however Jack hasn’t been happy in the co-sleeper. He had been waking up constantly, and even though we could often soothe him without picking him up, during the second half of the night he wasn’t getting back into deeper sleep. He was waking up every 15 minutes, which wasn’t good for me or Jack.
Last Friday, after the week of getting him to nap in the crib, he started turning himself onto his stomach to sleep. He did it in the co-sleeper too, and I started to worry he wouldn’t have enough room to flip himself back if he wanted to. So, we decided to try having him sleep in the crib in his room that night, and he did ok! We tried that for a couple of nights, but he woke up around 3 or 4 and couldn’t be soothed back to sleep, so we brought him into bed with us, and he slept great and I didn’t.
Finally, I decided to go back to nursing him in the middle of the night, and try putting him back to sleep in his crib, and that is actually working out ok. I don’t think he really needs to eat then, because of the fact he sleeps fine when he’s with us, but it does calm him and it means we can all go back to sleep.
I have to say, I feel guilt about not enjoying co-sleeping more. I’m a firm believer that you should do whatever works best for you and your family, but I feel like something must be wrong with me when I hear other people talk about how much they love it.
Sleeping, crying, breastfeeding; these issues really bring out strong feelings in people. If you look at the messages on sites like UrbanBaby.com, the amount of vitriol is astonishing. Someone posts that they let their baby cry a few minutes, and people start responding that she is a horrible mother, how dare she have children, didn’t she know Hitler’s mom let him cry and look how he turned out?
I wish people would just realize that different things are best for different families, and just do what works for you and yours.
(By the way, I’m not posting this in response to anything anyone I know has said to me: my friends/family have all been very supportive and no one’s been criticizing me or laying guilt trips. It’s more a feeling about all the conflicting advice out there and how difficult it is sometimes to not let it get to you.)
Yesterday Jack had his four-month checkup. He’s 25 inches tall now, and 14 pounds (which puts him between the cats still: Max is about 10.5 pounds, Jemba about 14.5). His head circumference is still growing at a normal rate, thank goodness, so there doesn’t seem to be anything to worry about there any more. Actually, I stopped worrying after the head ultrasound; seems like they would have found a problem then if there was one. The doctor just figures his head grew rapidly in the beginning and then slowed to its normal growth pattern.
I forget the percentiles for that height/weight: I think 50th height (maybe he won’t be so short after all?) and 20th in weight.
He had the same vaccines as last time: rotovirus and 4 shots. When he gets the shots he has a cry I never hear at any other time, a “man that hurts!!” kind of cry. But he was fine afterwards.
Last time he ended up with a fever of 102; so far no fever this time, yay!
ETA: Of course, right after I posted that I took his temperature again and he did end up with a slight fever (101). But I gave him a dose of baby Tylenol and he was fine.
It occurred to me that a lot of my posts have been about the tough stuff, and not as much about the fun parts of being a mom. I guess it’s just that when I am motivated to write a blog post, it’s with the issues I’m struggling with; I don’t really feed the urge to blog about the daily good things that are happening.
So here’s a post about that instead!
Jack is such a smiler. There are so many smiles every day, all day. He’s also giggled a few times, which is a joy to hear. He loves to take walks; pop him in the Bjorn and go out the door and he’s happy as a clam. He still loves to see other people. He’s easy to take places and is interested in looking at everything.
He likes to look at books; we do a lot of reading every day. He just learned to roll from his back to his front and looks so pleased with himself when he holds his head up high on his tummy. He is starting to notice the cats and reaches out to touch Jemba when he’s near. (Max doesn’t come too close!) Sometimes he does “crunches” when sitting on our laps, lifting his head forward. He loves to be sung to; when I sing him a song before nap time it always makes him smile.
Not a day goes by that I don’t look at him and think how lucky we are to have him.
This has been a very difficult week, sleeping-wise. I finally decided it was time to make a change with Jack’s naps, and transition him to napping in the crib.
Until this week, he has napped in the swing (for up to 3 hours!), in the car seat (when driving or after we get home and he’s still asleep), in a carrier like the sling or the Bjorn, or on one of us. Even napping in the swing had become something of an ordeal; sometimes I could put him in there and he’d fall asleep on his own, but usually it required 5-15 minutes of holding him while he cried and struggled until he would be drowsy enough to go down.
I also wanted him to learn to nap in the crib so we’ll be able to transition his night-time sleeping there as well. He’s still in the co-sleeper attached to the bed in our room; not sure yet when we’ll move him into the crib at night.
We’ve tried crib naps before. He had ONE nap where he fell asleep on his own while under the mobile, and maybe 2-3 catnaps when we placed him in completely asleep (that’s at least 30 minutes of holding him first). We’ve tried the “put him down until he cries, pick him up & soothe him, repeat” method; we’ve tried the “let him cry but stay there while patting him etc”; these were abysmal failures. It was time to try something new.
Jack turned four months on Sunday, and I decided to try a Ferber-esque solution. I’ve never read his book so I don’t really know the details, except that you do “graduated extinction”, e.g. go in to soothe at regular, increasing intervals without picking him up.
I really didn’t want to do this. I had hoped he would learn to nap well on his own eventually, but it’s been a huge struggle. He hates going to sleep. He doesn’t really enjoy staying asleep, either. Every nap’s been a battle, and it’s exhausting. He’s sleep-deprived. (I won’t even talk about his night-time sleep: that is still a huge issue.)
So Monday we began. I put him in the crib fully awake and came in at 3 min, 5 min, then every 10 min. If he didn’t sleep, I kept it up until it was time for him to eat. I did it three times a day, after 1.5 – 2 hours of awake time.
It’s Friday, and we’ve made some progress. Yesterday he took three crib naps, all from a fully-awake state: 1 hour, 1.5 hours, and 30 minutes. He still cried some in the beginning, but that time is getting shorter.
I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Part of me says, wonderful! It’ll get easier and easier and it’s best for his sleep. And part of me, of course, can’t stand hearing him cry and feels incredible guilt, based on people like Dr. Sears’ assertions that by doing this I’m basically teaching him that he’s alone in the world, and hurting our bond, etc etc.
The thing is, whether you believe that or not, there will never be a way to prove it. Even if you followed parents who practiced attachment parenting or crying it out religiously, you could never separate all the other factors: style of parenting, environment, and of course the babies and parents themselves.
All I know is, we’ve tried everything else, and this seems to be working, and I think the benefits (Jack getting better sleep) outweigh the rest.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
I don’t even want to talk about night sleeping. I have never been so tired in my life. This week I have been a zombie. I can’t wait til that part gets better and I can return to the human race.
This past Saturday, August 2nd, marked one year since I found out I was pregnant.
It was a roller coaster day. In the previous month, I had taken the drug Femera (to increase egg production), and injected myself with hormones. Two weeks prior we had done an IUI (that’s the proper term for artificial insemination these days).
The previous 2.5 years I had rarely taken a pregnancy test, figuring, why waste the money. I had done three IUIs and taken Femara before, but this was the first time with the injections. I was convinced I would not be pregnant; there was only about a 20% chance it would work. I readied myself for the words “not pregnant” to appear on the digital readout.
I took the test and waited exactly three minutes before I looked. It read “pregnant”. I knew it was a mistake. There’s no way it had finally worked. I called Chris, my voice shaking, to tell him the news, and then called the doctor’s office; they said to come in and take a blood test.
When I arrived, the receptionist informed me I would need to take a urine test first. I didn’t really see the point, but fine; I took it and gave it to her and I was leaving the waiting room, I said “How long before I’ll know the results?” She told me she’d check it right now, then came back and announced to the entire waiting room, in a cheerful voice, “It’s negative.”
I was stunned. What had happened? False positives were so rare! My hopes were dashed; I called Chris and left him a tearful voicemail and made my way home. Shortly after I got home, the phone rang and it was the receptionist again. “It’s positive,” she said. “What?” “The test… it’s positive. I waited a little longer.”
I was reeling again. So maybe I was pregnant after all? I called Chris yet again. A little while later another woman from the doctor’s office called. “So, are you coming in to take a blood test?” she asked. “No,” I said. “You told me to just go home.”
Back to the lab, they took my blood, said they’d call me the next day. All night I tried not to get my hopes up that it was true. At 8 AM the phone rang. It was the receptionist. “I have your results!” she said excitedly. “It’s 200!”
I paused. “What does that mean?”
“I don’t know. Only a doctor can tell you that.”
“So you can’t tell me ANYTHING?”
“Nope!”
I WAS PISSED! Why was she calling me to tell me NOTHING? I called all afternoon waiting to speak to the doctor; finally the receptionist came back on the phone, after I was on hold 20 minutes, and said “You have to take the test again you’re pregnant.” “WHAT?” I said. “You have to take the test again.” “No.. the second part!” “Oh.. you’re pregnant.”
As it turns out, the number represents the level of the hormone hCG, and I had to take a second test two days later to see if the numbers were rising appropriately. (Which they were.) I could finally relax and believe it.
I didn’t believe I was having a baby, not yet.. but I knew I could get pregnant, and that was the most important thing.
Needless to say, that woman doesn’t work there any more. (Nothing to do with me!)
Chris just took Jack on a CostCo adventure, so I am alllooonne!! With the two cats, of course. It almost didn’t happen because Chris’s car wouldn’t start, but we jump started it and off he went.
I’ve been out on my own without Jack lots of times, but very rarely been alone at home. It is rather exciting.
Last night was rough. It started out well, but Jack woke up a lot and at 4:30 was very upset. I don’t know why that time is so difficult for him.
I tried to sleep in a little when Chris got up and took Jack downstairs but it didn’t work very well. Jack is nearly 4 months old, and I’m just as tired as ever. I sure hope his sleeping improves soon. He is starting to roll over on his side sometimes now, which does help soothe him. He gets right up against the side of the cosleeper and often grabs the side (the side that is flush against the bed) and hangs on tightly. So cute.
|
 | Laurie on Potty Training |
 | Kenrick on Potty Training |
 | Kate Gales on No-Nap Jack |
| Kenrick on A Parenting Low |
 | Vaporizer on We Be Illin’ |
